Regulator Gazette--January 1897

Headline....Sonoma Kid Cleans Up Crooked Poker Game

It was a cold day in Regulatorville when the Sonoma Kid and his son Kid Jr. came into town. Sonoma went to the Hard 
Times Saloon looking for something to warm his insides and Kid Jr. went over to Sadies Bawdy house to warm his (well 
you know what i mean). After a few drinks Sonoma sat down to play a few hands of poker with the resident card butcher 
Five Aces Sloop. Little did Sonoma know but he was the only player at the table who was not crooked. After loosing a few 
pots and seeing everybody else at the table win but him he figured the fix was in. As Sloop started to deal the next hand 
Sonoma grabbed Sloop's arm jerked up his sleeve and out came Aces and Kings. Sloop went for his knife but Sonoma 
pulled out a derringer and gave him a 44 ball between the eyes. At that point everybody in the Saloon went for their gun 
and was aiming to put Sonoma in boot hill. Well after emptying both his six shooters and his derringer he collected his 
winnings and joined Kid Jr. over at Sadies.

Headline....Regulator Buffalo Hunters Need Lots Of Ammo

Darn it was cold.....Well how cold was it?????....Well it was so cold that you had to heat your bullets before you shot'em or 
they'd freeze in the air. All the Regulator Posse mounted up for the annual buffalo hunt. After riding for about two hours 
out to Buffalo Gulch the posse was just about frozen to their horses. As i heard it the buffalo scored more points than the 
posse did. Out of 9 posse members there were 36 misses. Carbine Kid was heard to say that his rifle was frozen shut 
and Roberdel was complaining that his face got frozen to the stock. Maybe that's why he got the most meat. Tom Two 
Times said that he bet that his tongue would stick to the barrel and he found out the hard way that it would. Doc Clock 
said the fastest way to get Two Times tongue unstuck would be to warm the barrel and we all know the fastest way to 
warm a barrel. Well the recoil removed Two Times tongue before it warmed up and now he is speaking "In Tongues" so 
to speak.....

Well it was indeed a cold day in Regulatorville but 7 Regular Regulators and two guest Regulators showed up for the 
January posse. Thanks to The Sonoma Kid and his son Kid Jr. for joining us. Hope to see you again. The Range staff 
was a couple of members short as Sheriff Dick Holliday and Idaho Spud were off chasing outlaws somewhere. Doc Clock 
and Tom Two Times ran the match and from all reports everybody had a good time. Mrs. Tom Two Times ran the chuck 
wagon and furnished some eats for the posse. Thanks to her for some good eats.

I didn't get the full shooting order but the order of the first three finishers was Roberdel (Match Winner and also Senior 
Winner) Sonoma Kid was second and Carbine Kid was third.

Thanks again to all those brave souls who braved the cold to play with us this month and plan to be with us again the Third 
Saturday in February. I've been getting some emails from shooters and it sounds like we should have a good turnout next 
month. We'll work hard between now and then to see that we come up with more fun stuff.....I understand that we're 
getting a few new steel targets in the next few days and we'll try to put them to good use. If you need directions to the club 
and a shoot schedule you can take a look at www.buccaneergunclub.org or if you want to see what's going on with 
Cowboys in North Carolina try www.northcarolinacowboys.com Thanks again and see you in February and don't 
forget......Take a kid shooting.....Ned Bluntline

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